To be a blogger

So I have, as you can tell from the previous post, decided to keep this blog going. I often have random thoughts or experiences as I strive to be a follower of Christ in the world that I thought would be helpful for me to write about and sort through. If you have comments, please feel free to leave them. I am certain I am not alone in what I struggle with or think about. And together, we can grow deeper into our understanding of Christ, the world, and most likely, grace.

To be ecumenical

So two days in a row I have been pushed into thinking about what it means to work ecumenically in our community. To me, working ecumenically means that we put theological differnces aside so that the common good can be accomplished, or relationships created, or community encouraged. But recently the vote by the ELCA has ended some of those ties. Now, don't get me wrong, I am very glad the vote passed the way it did...but it is sad to me that homosexuality is driving a wedge into ecumenical efforts; not our different understandings of baptism, or communion, or the Spirit, or priesthood....but sexuality. It is apparent that we, as such sinful creatures, still cannot figure out a way to work together, in spite of our differences of thought. Because when we boil it down, all of us as Christians follow Jesus and want to serve others because of him....and we trust in his grace and mercy in our lives. Is this not enough to hold us together so that we can make a difference in the lives of those in need in our community?

But I also thank and praise God that many of us are still bound together in ecumenical work regardless of the decisions of the pope, or the hierarchy of the churches we belong to, or our ideas about the bible. May God bless us all to strive together to serve others.

Heading Home

So today is my last day in Guatemala for a while. It is an odd sort of think to think about something that was over a year in the making is now coming to an end. And what did I learn from my time here???? I am still trying to figure it out. Will things be different when I return to MN? Hmmm...time will tell. I guess the good thing is that I am ready to come home. I am ready to be back together with my family, carving out our routine for the coming fall. I am ready to begin to figure out just what God is going to have us do this next year at OSLC. I am anxious to check in with Jasmine and Brittany and see how they are doing. I am ready to hear about how college is going for the first year students and how their parents are coping....I am ready to worship with the friends and family I have been away from....

Along the way

I have met many interesting people along the way this summer. Being a "WOO", according to Strength Finders, everyone I meet is simply a friend I need to get to know. And it is true. I really enjoy hearing the stories of other people...especially why they choose to spend time in Guatemala. In Antigua, many people I met came there because the language instruction is one on one. Several people had been to Guatemala for some reason or another, and like me, were drawn back again and again. Elaine, whom I met on Wednesday, was originally from Colorado. When she turned 40, she looked at her husband and said "Let's go somewhere new" and they loaded up the car to head to Panama. They were near Lake Atitlan in Guatemala when their car had trouble so they decided to stay for a while and get to know the area. They fell in love with the Lake and with life here, so they purchased lakefront property and have now lived here for 3 years. What is most entertaining to me, is that she still cannot speak Spanish! She claims that she doesn't need to here, since there are so many gringos....

I also met Juan. He works at Villa Sumaya and he is able to understand English, even when I talk quickly...so that made me wonder about his life. He told me that when he was a teenage he moved to California and lived there for many years. But about a year ago, he returned to his hometown on Lake Atitlan because his father is quite old and he wants to spend some time with him. Juan has 20 brothers and sisters in the area, but he wanted to be the one to help care for his elderly father.

Even the family that owns Villa Sumaya has an interesting story....they visited here and loved it so much they decided to start this retreat center. Then when they divorced, the women kept this resort, while the husband began another one right next door. Their children were born here and they continue to embrace the wonder of Guatemala each and every day.

I hope that the next time I am in Guatemala my spanish is to the point that I can speak more freely with the native Guatemalans and hear their stories.

Two first names

Even in Guatemala my name is difficult. Karn is odd to them, although Karen is a bit more doable. At my language school in Antigua, I settled for Carmen..it was easier for my teacher. Here on Lake Atitlan, I have a new teacher, Pedro, and we were talking about my name. So I was explaining how even in the U.S. my name gives people problems. Not only Karn, but especially because my last name is Carroll. Pedro laughed, and then said he had the same issues...his last name is Juan...Pedro Juan...another person with two first names.

So it is like Deanine speaks of frequently...as soon as I begin to think how different things are in Guatemala from the United States, something reminds me of how much people have in common.

Internet...

I would never have thought until this summer that I depended on the internet. I mean, sure, I enjoy facebook and emails are essential for work...but this summer the internet has had new meaning for me. For example, right now I am at a fairly isolated retreat center on Lake Atitlan in Guatemala. You can only access this place by boat (like most of the towns around here). There is no tv, one phone, no junk food...but there is internet access. So this morning I have talked to my mom via facebook, uploaded some pictures so my family can see where I am, checked on the status of Hurricane Bill, and am writing on my blog.

But I am struggling with whether or not this dependance on the internet is a good thing. I mean, "sabbatical" is time away...time a part from normal, daily routines. But I am not comfortable with being totally alone...isolated....a part. Hmmm....

And yet, when I was nervous on the boat ride, with choppy waves splashing over the sides, the internet was not helpful.... only other person I could talk to about my fear was God...and yes..I prayed the entire was across the lake!

Reality bites

Guatemala is an a amazing country. It is beautiful, it is full of variety, colorful, and every person I have met has been very nice. But the other day I heard a speaker from a non-profit group called Wings, that reminded me about the reality of being Guatemalan. In this country, 40% of children will flunk first grade and the average person only completes 5.5 years of school; chronic malnutrician is rampant resulting in an IQ that is estimated at 15 points lower that it should be; the political system is democratic, but weak and corrupt; the police mean well (mostly) but are outnumbered 3 to 1 by private security guards; drug trafficing in the Peten (northern region) is growing because of illegal airstips and its rainforest area being too difficult to be policed; 600 bus drivers have been killed recently because gangs expect bus drivers to pay them in order to stay alive; poor women (insert "indigineous") have on average 7 children; there are 20 native languages still spoken here; the number one source of income for Guatemala? The money immigrants in the U.S. send back to their families. This country has so much to offer....yet it can't seem to beat the corruption that keeps it divided and oppressed.

Consequetnly, it is hard to know what to do or what to even pray for. Guatemala does not need to be another "U.S." but the people are unable to reach their fullest potention because of the lack of basic neccesities like education and pure water. And the malnutician...well, that is simply poverty at work...since this country produces an amazing array of fruits and vegetables and beans....

The gap between the poor and the rich is one of the most offensive there is in the world....

And yet I have heard several people who gave up their lives in the U.S. in order to help those in need here. Non-profit organizations contine to provide for the people what the government fails to: healthcare, education, housing.

Please keep the poor and indigenous people of Guatemala in your prayers....

A Weekend in Tikal

Tikal National Park is located in the northern part of Guatemala known as the Peten. The Peten is jungle; hot and humid. Access to electricity and running water is not guarenteed. And it is here, in Tikal, that one of the largest Mayan ruins has been uncovered (well..only 35% uncovered..it is hard, tedious work to restore the ruins). The earliest structures are dated to be around 600 AD and there are 5 large temples and numurous other buildings and smaller temples. Of course, the first thing that I thought when I saw this area for the first time was how did people build these things over 1400 years ago? No machines, no steel..total manual labor. It is impressive. Then I began to wonder how did such a people, so advance in their constuction skills, their astology (they correctly predicted by their calendar a major astromical event on Dec 23, 2012...which happens once every 26,000 years), and even their irrigation and resevoir techniques for water, could disappear. We know a lot about them, but there still remains many unanswered mysteries.

For me, exploring the Mayan ruins gave me time to think about the ingenuity of humankind; the ritualism we crave and develop; the lengths we will go to in order to live. The Mayans were able to do amazing things with their hands and their minds....and people are still as creative today. How wonderful it is that God has given us our gifts of intelligence, perserverance, community...

List making

I am a list maker. I make lists about pretty much everything...what to buy at the store, what errands to run, what plans to make, who to call, what restaurants I want to try...you get the idea. Well, being on sabbatical has put a crimp in my list making rountines. I mean, I had many, many lists before I left on this adventure...but now, my list (if I make one at all) is for one or two things at the La Bodegoda (supermercado) or maybe a new place to visit. It is so much less clutter for my mind to only have to think about Spanish verbs, where to go for lunch, and remembering to buy a new jug of water on Saturday mornings (Q15..with home delivery). I guess God heard Pastor Steve's prayer when he prayed that I do no work while I am on sabbatical....

It's about relationships

I have now been in Guatemala for 3 weeks and it is still amazing. Each day I see something new, I try something new, I learn new words and I find out somethings else I want to do while I am here. I've climbed an active volcano, I've had black sand from the Pacific Coast between my toes, and I have removed the outer shell of a dried coffee bean. This is definately a summer to remember.

And yet...(isn't there always something).....and yet something is missing. I spent some time reflecting on what was not settling well with me, what was missing from my experience here in Antigua and I finally realized it was relationships. I am meeting many people through the language school and who live near me....but they are all North Americans. Apart from the teachers and the secretary at the language school....I only interact with the Guatemalans when I am shopping or eating out. Without the language skills needed, it is difficult to engage locals...although it is funny how even speaking with North Americans is sometimes hard....I love to ask questions and hear stories...I am not sure people always like to tell me things, especially when to them we have no context to have a relationship. (I say "to them" because in my mind we have a common bond by coming to Guatemala...not usually the first country people think of when they want to go on vacation).

This is certainly a different experience than when I travel down here for the mission trips. The whole point of the mission trips is relationships. When we travel for 2 days into the Peten it is for the sole purpose of sharing our lives with the lives of the people of Nueve Guatemala. I miss Don Salvadore and Don Pablo. I want to find out how tall Jaime is and see if there are any new families in the church. What new English words has Geronimo learned? Has Gregorio had another child?

My time here in Antigua is to learn the Spanish language. I know it will help me, in the long run, to have deeper relationships with our friends in Guatemala. But each day, I miss my friends in the Peten and I long to be with them again.

Missing OSLC

Things these past few weeks have been great, but hectic. It is a lot of mental work to learn to live within a different culture. Plus, I have really enjoyed teaching my sons how to appreciate cultural differences and enjoy experiencing new things.

But this morning I was able to take a peek at a church service at Our Saviors. As the youth were being blessed for their trip to the Youth Gathering, I realized how much I missed everyone.

May God continue to watch over everyone at OSLC! I look forward to hearing how summer went back in Circle Pines.

Catholic/Lutheran Dialogue

My Spanish instructor is Belli (short for Ana Isabela) and she is about 50 years old, with two grown children and a beautiful smile. She is a little shorter than me, has dark curly hair, and she is very nice to work with. Belli is also Catholic, so when she asked me what I did, I told her I was a pastor and instead of being dismayed or confused, she just said, "that's good," and went on to explain that there were no female pastors in Guatemala. Then as we finished for the day, the first thing she told the other teachers was that I was a pastor and wasn't that neat. Despite never having met a female pastor before, she accepted me for who I am.

Then today we actually talked more about the differences and the similarities between the Catholic Church and the Lutheran Church. She wanted to lump Lutherans in with all the other protestant churches in Guatemala, but many of them are quite evangelical and have a more decision-based theology. So we shared with one another about infant baptism, confirmation, and first communion. She was surprised at how many similarities there are and she was very open to learning about the differences. She wrapped up our conversation by saying that she enjoys having a student that she can talk about her faith with. Too often, she has students that don't believe in anything and that makes her quite sad and concerned. Her faith is important to her and it was such a joy for me to hear her speak so freely about it. She still doesn't understand why we don't pray to Mary..she compared it to when a child asks mom to ask dad for something....and I do understand her point of view. It is interesting to me how easy people get riled up when someone believes differently than they do...but why? Why is it so difficult to simply share and learn and seek understanding?

It certainly is a God-thing when we do...and if Belli and I, speaking two different languages, can have such a dialogue....I definately saw God in action today.

Getting Settled

Wednesday morning I awoke to a brilliant sunshine. I spent some time in prayer, asking God to bless our apartment search and provide for us a place to call home this summer. After I showered, we began to pack up in preparation of moving out of the hotel. But by 10:30 am there was still no word from Leanora who was trying to set up some apartments for us to visit. So I decided to go and get a cell phone and then contact another realty agency. We met with Isabella who was able to find two properties for us to look at. Seth, Sean and I hopped into her car and went to an apartment owned by Americans, John and Mary Ann. They own a house and then next to their house is a small courtyard that contains four rentals. We saw a very clean and surprisingly large 2 bedroom apartment with laundry and I decided on the spot that this was it.

The address? Callejon del Espiritu Santo (Holy Spirit Street). Ha! Talk about an obvious God-thing. It was a fast day...we paid deposits and rent and brought our luggage over. But we also began our language instruction at Academia Colonial (newer school...owned by a man named Jean-Paul from New Orleans). We spent about 3 hours with our teachers and the boys really enjoyed it. Me? I was really tired from the events of the day, but spent time reviewing las frutas (fruits) and the verb tenir (to have).

Since we were so tired, for dinner we decided to order Dominos. Our neighbor, Rick, an American from South Carolina who is exporting Mayan goods, helped us locate the phone number and our landlord, John, spoke on the phone to make sure our order was correct. It is certainly nice to have people willing to help us out.

With the setting of the sun, we were in bed...in our home away from home. God had certainly blessed our day.

Bienvenidos a Antigua!

When I arrived in Antigua, I was surprised at how at peace I felt. It was almost surreal, though, since I have been planning this trip for more than a year. But now we are here, and it is beautiful, I am relaxed, and the boys seem to be enjoying themselves. Where else but in Antigua can you eat McDonald's in a garden that has a clear view of a volcano?

I am still searching for an apartment. Today happens to be a holiday (Army Day..perhaps like Memorial Day???)so people are not at the apartments for me to take a look....oh well, by tomorrow things should be open.

It is such a blessing to know that I am in no hurry to "do" things or "see" things....since I have several weeks here, we can take it easy. Yet I am anxious to begin working on my Spanish, since my time in France basically set me back to "hola"! So we begin instruction tomorrow at 2 pm.

It is also fun to see so many people from all over the world here. We met a family from Canada, ex-pats from Nashville, and our "realtor" is originally from Florida. What is the draw to Guatemala? I certainly do not know, but for me it is a draw, it is a pull for me to come back again and again. It keeps me wondering...what is God planning?

Jennifer and Bobby

So my niece married Bobby yesterday. I had yet to meet him (they are in the army and live in England, so when he has been in Minnesota he has been very busy) but he seems just perfect for Jennifer. I was so impressed with his outgoing and unassuming personality. He was also super funny and easy going...all characteristics that either match or compliment Jennifer so well.

But it was when they danced their dance, that the love was so crystal clear. They way they held one another and looked into each others' eyes...it was pure love...it was so easy to recognize the presence of God in their marriage.

My prayers go to them this day and all days, because marriage is such a blessing, and yet it takes a lot of work. God, who is love, is with them, and will give them the strength they need when difficult times arise, but too often it seems, people give in to hopelessness or despair, rather than draw on that love.

When we have that partner in life, it is so wonderful to share all that we are and all that we experience. I could not imagine what my life would be like without Ryan, who is always there for me, who listens to me, supports me, and laughs with me. He is the one I count on, no matter what, because God has given us one another to experience life together.

God is a god who is in relationship....Father, Son and Spirit...it makes such sense that we, too, are to be in relationship with others, in God's love, as we go through life. For some of us, it is a spouse, for others a friend, for some, a community...whomever we have, may we all recognize God's presence in those relationships.

Blessings to Jennifer and Bobby...May the love they feel this day be the source of strength thoughout their marriage! Thanks be to God for bringing them together.

Antibes

The beaches in Nice are pebble beaches and we thought going to a sand beach for a day would be nice. According to Rick Steves and others, Antibes, a smaller town just west of Nice, has a nice sandy beach. So we decided to take the "short bus ride" to Antibes and spend the day there.

Well, the short bus ride ended up being over an hour...and Ryan had to stand the whole way. When we got to Antibes, we wandered to the Picasso Museum, which was closed while they hung new artwork. We then had to walk along the coast in extreme heat. We found the small, sandy beach and set up to swim and play. It wasn't too long before Seth was stung by a jelly fish, Sean was sunburned, and we were all hungry and tired.

We had a quick snack and then headed back to Nice....this time the bus was hot, crowded, and nauseating. It took us even longer to return to our apartment because we were stopped by the bus security to check to see that all passengers had valid passes.

We returned "home" and were pretty hot, crabby, sunburned, and hungry. It had been a long day and we, in many ways, thought the trip wasn't really worth it.

But then that got me thinking....is there a purpose in our going there and Seth getting stung by a jellyfish? I mean, some people beleive so. I have talked with many people who beleive all the things we do in life are part of God's plan....and would a long, exhausting day be part of that plan, too?

I think back to the challenging times in my life, struggles I have faced....and sometimes I am tempted to make them have purpose and meaning. But is life suppose to be about learning something or getting something out of circumstances? Can't we just sometimes have a bad day and call it what it is? Why are we (or at least me at times) intent on making each part of our lives have a reason to have happened?

I beleive that life is life and life simply happens. Not that God is not involved....God is actively present, but everthing does not necessarily happen for a reason. Both Ryan and I were glad we went to Antibes...because we would have felt we had "missed out" if we hadn't, but really, it wasn't a very enjoyable day. Worse yet, Seth was hurt, and while it now makes a good story, he had to suffer a bit to be able to tell it.

Life happens....and sometimes we will have moments of true purpose and meaning....and sometimes we are simply living. And that is okay.

Time to pray

In less than a week, we will be back in the USA. I cannot image having traveled here for any amount of less time than we did. We have been able to learn the bus system, found "our spot" on the beach and have seen what we want to of Nice. Now it is time to branch out and visit some of the neighboring villages.

I have been waking early, with the sun pretty much. This has allowed me time to spend in prayer, thanking God for all that I have been given. I also ask for God's blessings on the day and that I am able to recognize God's presence throughout the day. From a cool breeze, to the twinkling of sunshine off the sea, to my sons' laughter.....God is revealed.

Happy Birthday Sean

June 13. Today is an important day in our family because 8 years ago Sean was born. As I look back over the years, it is amazing to see how he has grown and changed and become who he is. He has so many wonderful gifts to share with others: his compassion, his curiosity, his love of animals, his creative mind, his systematic thinking, his humor. It still surprises me how much one person can love another; I love him so much.

Sean has always been (and will continue to be) his own person. He doesn't fit into the mold of others, he definately walks to the beat of his own drummer. And yet here I am, dragging him around the world for a summer and he is taking it all in with wonder and interest. His skinny chicken legs have walked for miles and he doesn't complain. He has basically survived off of croissants, pizza and coke. He is extremely fascinated by the French Revolution and, after seeing the Russian Cathedral, the murders of the czar and his family before Lenin. On the rocky beach, he entertains himself by piling rocks and searching for sea glass (we have a whole baggy full). For Sean, it is great fun to scare the pigeons....he likes the city because there are so many of them!

Blessings this day to Sean and anyone else who is celebrating a birthday. I pray that we all recognize in others the gifts that God has given them and learn to appreciate the uniqueness!

It's nice in Nice

Wednesday morning we packed up and headed to the Gare de Lyon train station to take the TGV to Nice. We had reserved seats, which meant that we were in a car with all older people:) But I didn't want to take a chance traveling with children....anyway, it took about 5 hours to travel through the French countryside and get to the French Riviera. It was an easy 10 minute walk to our rental company and I picked up the keys to our apartment for the next 10 days. Our apartment is fantastic...two bedrooms furnished by Ikea (bonus) and the piece de resistance....a roof top patio with an outdoor kitchen area and table. We can see the mediterranean, the mountains, and the roof tops of other buildings. This is where I am writing this post from. Coffee up here in the morning, wine in the evening...it is amazing.

We decided to make many of our own meals at home, so we went grocery shopping. It is fun for me to look at the different products they have here in France, while trying to reach in the recesses of my mind to recall French vocabulary (I have yet to find out what courgettes are). So far, Sean only likes croissants, bread, and orangina. Seth has tried the crepes, pizza, and tiramasu (although I kind of tricked him into that one...he thought he was sampling creme brulee, but the waiter brought the other dessert instead). By cooking at home we can make some family standards...such as chicken, spaghetti, grilled cheese, and pancakes with honey butter syrup.

We are located about 5 blocks from the beach, very close to the Hotel Negresco. The beach is rockey..but the water is a breathtaking shade of aqua marine....it is so bright and fabulous to look at. I simply adore being by the sea....the sound of the waves crashing, the breeze that cools the rays of the sun, and the peacfulness of it all.

And so here I ponder this morning as I look out over the city of Nice, with the mountains to my left and the sea to my right, and I am overcome with a sense of gratitude. Thankful to God for this wonderful creation, thankful to my family for being willing to take this adventure with me, and thankful to Our Saviors for allowing me to take this sabbatical.

Family Bonding

Rain, rain.....I have never been in Paris with so much rain. Each day begins sunny and very quickly turns rainy and cool. We did not really plan on so much rain, except for having two umbrellas....but it did not deter us from visiting the Tour Eiffel and the Sewer Tour of Paris. Note: Rick Steves, Lutheran and travel guide extrodinairre, recommended the tour. But, he neglected to share how awful it smelled and that you see raw sewage while underground. Needless to say, my family will forever say "I would rather....[insert own negative experience]... than go on the sewer tour." For Sean, it was spending an entire day locked in a bathroom with only cereal to eat. For Seth, it was walking in the cold rain....

And is this not one of the reasons we experience things with those we love? This time of bonding and shared memories connect us as a family more deeply....

It is wonderful to be able to have this time with the boys while they are 8 (almost...) and 12. They are both traveling so well...Sean is perfectly content walking for miles as long as he knows he has my attention and can talk and tell me his thoughts without interruption. Seth became of videographer while Sean narrates what we are doing.

Day Two in Paris

Time is such an interesting thing. It was at about 2 in the morning and my entire family was awake. We didn't fight it, just did some things and then at about 5 am went back to sleep. My plan was to be at the Louvre by 8:30 am....but we ended up all sleeping until 9:30. So change of plans....we went on a boat tour of the Seine, wandered through Notre Dame, visited Centre Pompidou, and the boys had their first french ice cream. C'est ci bon.

I had told the boys that my first time at Notre Dame I had lit a candle and prayed for peace in the world. The boys each wanted to say a prayer, too, and so we bought candles and lit them and held hands to pray. Sean prayed his "normal" prayer, thanking God for everything....and then he shyly added , "and we pray for Peace."

World peace....hard to imagine. How might this ever be? Is it too much to pray for? Yet, what a travesty if we do not pray and then act for peace.

May the God of peace be with you all.

Traveling to Paris

Well, we have made it to Paris. The boys were excited and everything at the airports went very smooth: no lines, great seats, even a good dinner in the air. We ran into a few small snags once we got to our apartment: the woman meeting us was not there, we did not have a cell phone, I incurred a huge charge when changing some money.

But we finally were settled and took a brief rest before walking through the Gardens of Tuileries, buying a French phrase book to help me remember my years of studying the language, and then experiencing Des Champs Elysees. We also enjoyed several very fine cups of coffee! (I was surprised to find that there are even Starbucks in Paris...I had no idea....not that I will go there, the French Brasseries and Cafes are too amazing!).

I have been amazed at the boys and how well they are traveling, especially with so little sleep. But now it is 8:30 pm in France (our bodies say 1:30 am) and they are asleep. Added bonus...we have access to the internet in our place (now if we can just find the corrected adapter).

All in all, my prayers were answered for the day: no issues on the flight, decent apartment rental, and my family is experiencing the wonder of Paris.

Every New Beginning Comes from Some Other Beginning's End

I can't beleive it has been almost a week since I have had a chance to sit and ponder. Where to begin? Well, first off,Washington Sate is amazing. So green, so glorious. I had put in for my firs call in the Pacific NW...I think I always knew I would love the area.

The purpose in my trip to Washington was to visit a remote Lutheran retreat center called Holden Village. It's strength and difficulty is the remoteness of it within the Cascade Mountains. Amelia and I discovered late on Saturday that no buses were running on Memorial Day, the day we were planning on getting to Holden. So we changed plans and rented a car. This meant we were able to drive through the gorgeous mountains to get to the boat dock before taking a 2 1/2 hour boat cruise to Lucerne, where Holden's school bus met us and transported us up to over 3000 feet elevation where the camp is located.

No surpise, the most common visitor to Holden after people from Washington, are people from Minnesota. We ended up meeting some wonderful people, including former classmates of mine from Wartburg Seminary and two counselors from Camp Wapo.

I spent four days reading, hiking, sitting, talking, learning how to use a pottery wheel, walking the labyrinth, and enjoying evening vespers. My favorite time of worship, though, was on a boat on Lake Chelan with my ipod listening to "I could sing of your love forever" while feeling the sun on my face and looking at the majestic peaks roll by. God is mighty indeed!

On Friday, we returned to the Seattle area via a differnet route...this time traveling close to an elevation of 5000....with waterfalls cascading around every corner. I had some time before my flight, so I drove down to Tacoma and looked for the campus of Pacific Lutheran College....but to no avail. So I returned to Sea-Tac Airport and had a nice flight watching my newest favorite movie, "Twilight."

I will spend some more time late rereading my journal entries and writing about what all took place for me while at Holden....but for now...this is my update as I am anxously getting reading for the next leg of our journey...Paris!

Friendships

So it is my third day in Seattle and I am heading back to Pikes Place Market and the original Starbucks. Yesterday at the City Center and Space Needle there was a Folk Life Festival...great surprise. It was sort of like a mini-State Fair with food and demonstrations and booths of hemp clothes (yeah Seattle). I also took the underground tour of Pioneer Square and learned about the beginning of Seattle (almost was named Duwumps).

So I was a typical tourist...but what is great is that I am spending this time with a good friend from Washington, D.C. Amelia and I met at my first call church and have been friends ever since. It was she who came over in the middle of the night to stay with Seth while Sean was born. It was she who actually went on vacation with my family and we had a crazy awful time. How wonderful it is to have friends that, even when we have not seen each other for a long time, we reconnect as if we had lunch yesterday.

How good is our God that we were not created to be alone, but in community, in relationship with others.

It has begun

So what does it mean be on sabbatical...I am finally discovering it! But I spent my first day traveling and worrying...worrying that Seth needs to return a library book, that I need to send a list of things to remember to my husband, and that my house will be a disaster when my mom comes to help with the boys. Worry...as if there are not more important things to worry about! And yet we are reminded by Jesus not to worry....hmmm....how do I stop it?

At lest I am no longer "in routnine." Today is a day of exploration, of new experiences, of time reconnection with a good friend. So I will hand my worries over to God and begin to trust in the unfolding of what sabbatical means.

Counting Down

As the countdown continues, I am still relatively calm about all that I have to do to finish getting ready to be on sabbatical. Other people have been asking me if I am crazy with all the preparations, but really, I'm not. I know that what needs to get done will, and that whatever doesn't...oh well. Plus, I have never been one to get too caught up in details when it doesn't really matter. Okay, maybe sometimes I like to discuss those minor details, but in the grand scheme of things, I know that God has my back.

I am getting excited, though, to experience what God has in store. Just as I am ready to spend some quality time with good friends, my sons, and my family. I pray that God bless this sacred time.

Paying attention

As I have been on a journey with spiritual direction, part of what it entails is being intentional about noticing God. No matter where, no matter what is happening....seeking and looking for God. What often happens for me, is that it is not until later...and sometimes much later that I look back and upon reflection, discover God's action or presence at a particular time. Yet today, driving home from a Synodical gathering, God's presence was so clear to me in the trees.

At the church, there is this magnificent tree in the middle of the parking lot. It has caused me many pauses lately, just looking into and through it's branches. It has yet to bud, but it is still a wonder to behold. Then today, there was a tree on 85th...in the lot of Wells Fargo that is sort of angeled up to the sky and immediately upon spotting it, I felt the presence of God.

It is no wonder that as I ponder a sermon on creation for this Sunday, that I am noticing God in nature. For many people, to be outside is to truly be in God's presence. And so today I give thanks, for God's good creation and the wonder of God that it chooses to reveal to me.

I intend for my Sabbatical to be a spiritual as well as physical journey. Recently I have begun taking spiritual direction through the Cristo Center for Spiritual Direction in Lino Lakes. My small group is experiencing Lectio Divina, an ancient practice of listening to the voice of God speaking to me through scriptures. I am finding that intentional morning prayer, beyond asking guidance for my day, is amazing. Today, as I listen to Jesus say to me "my peace I give to you," my heart has received a great sense of calm. Not that I am anxious....but that I pray I am able to share Jesus' peace with those I encounter today in my words and actions.

Getting Ready

It is an interesting process as I make travel and lodging arrangements for my sabbatical. I do a lot of projecting myself into the apartments and trying to visualize what "feel" I will get while there. Of course, it is all guesswork...who knows what things will truly be like. But last night, after having spent over two hours online searching places to stay in Nice, I handed the whole process over to God. For me, I believe that when we pray for something, God will bless it, and so I need to now trust that whatever apartments I select, God will bless our time there. So be it.

Preparations for Sabbatical

Well, here is one more step to complete as I prepare for my sabbatical this summer. It is my intention to let others in on the ponderings of my heart as I spend time with God, with myself, with my family, and in a country that has taken seed in my life. What does God have in store for me? What will God work in me while I am on sabbatical? I am open to how the Spirit will move...

Now please remember that I am not a writer...I would much rather sit down and talk with people, so this will be a challenge and this will certainly contain many grammatical errors, but I will be true to my thoughts and my experiences.

I invite God to be part of this blog and I welcome you.....

Peace in Christ,

Karn